Sunday, May 21, 2006

God wants you to get cancer

I'm almost getting tired of picking on the religious right. I honestly look for other subjects to blog about. But these guys are just such easy targets.

I was delighted to read about the FDA's approval of Merck's new cervical cancer vaccine. Not because I'm at much risk for it, but cancer is an absolute scourge that attacks randomly, destroys your quality of life, and then your life itself. Anything we can do to fight it, in any form, gets two thumbs up from me. And who knows...maybe fighting one type of cancer will lead to breakthroughs against other types.

But naturally, the religious right thinks that we're better off skipping the vaccination and taking our chances with the cancer. Why, you ask? Because the virus that causes this cancer can be sexually transmitted! So logically, by vaccinating our youth against this virus, we are encouraging them to have sex!

Sex, which is nothing but a tool of Satan himself, should be as dangerous as possible. The more potential death that sex can cause, the happier Christians are. Because the important thing isn't saving your, God doesn't actually want to prevent you from contracting a withering disease...the important thing is that you keep your pants on. Because people like Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson couldn't get pussy in high school, they want to make damned sure that no other teenagers get any pussy either.

The great thing about all this, is that scaring teens into abstinence simply doesn't work. When was the last time you heard someone say, "Suzie lifted up her skirt, and then started to unzip my fly, but I was like: Hey babe, slow down, I could be a carrier for the human papilloma virus!" Even armed with proof that their tactics do nothing to prevent sex, they still push forward with this agenda, the results of which will mean more people suffering and dying from cancer.

There is only one conclusion I can draw from these series of facts: the religious right, and their heartless fucking God, want everyone else to get cancer. It's all part of God's plan.


At 10:40 AM, Blogger millhousethecat said...

Oh, God.

The fact that conservative Christians can't even conceive of discussing sexuality with their children is just one more reason for having a vaccine like this available to them.

The "don't ask, don't tell" philosophy is assinine. When I think about the uproar about making condoms available in high school bathrooms, I cringe. Becuase if we don't make them available, kids won't have sex!


If you don't make the condoms available --- kids open themselves up to teenage pregnancy, disease and risk taking that isn't necessary at all. It pisses me off.

I had a super "Christian" neighbor who told me once, when our oldest children were about five years old, "If Taylor ever came home with purple hair, she'd be living somewhere else because her father and I wouldn't let her in the house." Now there's some understanding Christian behavior for you. Where do you think they stand on condoms and vaccines?

It makes me sick. Why wouldn't you do everything you could to make your child safe? Why wouldn't you at the very least allow them to have a vaccine that would prevent the second most deadly cancer even if it meant it would encourage them to have sex?

I gotta tell you --- condoms or no condoms, vaccine or no vaccine, purple hair or no purple hair, kids do a lot of things we can't keep them from doing. If we're smart, we'll arm them with the tools they need to be safe.

At 9:56 PM, Anonymous deppen said...

Huh? Wait. It's cancer? Ahh damn. I thought God was going to shove bananas up our asses.

At 6:05 AM, Blogger sparrowlegs said...



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