Monday, May 08, 2006

Movie Review: MI:3

Boring.

I'm a big fan of popcorn movies...I enjoy mindless action as much as the next guy, but this movie never grabbed me, not even for a single scene.

Of course I didn't care about any of the characters...of course the plot was tired and predictable...none of this stuff bothers me, because it's what I expect from an action flick. But MI:3 wasn't cool, witty, clever, or intense. Infared cameras, remote-controlled guns, lifelike masks and voice duplicators...yawn. There wasn't a single trick I haven't seen a million times before.

In one climactic scene, our hero has two minutes to steal an incredibly dangerous biohazardous material from a locked-down building, complete with armed guards and cutting edge surveillance systems ("a thief's worst nightmare"). Here's how he does it:

He enters the building from the roof.
...
He jumps out a window with the prize.

Yes, that's right, the movie doesn't show you, or tell you, or even allude to the method by which he procured the...oh yeah, they never explain what it is he's stealing, either. But it says "Biohazard" on it, so it must be dangerous.

This was one seriously weak script. Don't waste your time.

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