Clogs, tulips, and scab-knees

Hounded by the religious right and their dogged attempts to legislate away my freedom, I'm always on the lookout for another country to move to, should the good old U.S. of A. get a little too Orwellian.

Well, it appears that the religious right would have no place in the Netherlands, where they've recently launched a political party for pedophiles. Here's a few excertps from the Pedophile Platform:

• Cut the legal age for sexual relations to 12 and eventually scrap the limit altogether


• Youths aged 16 and up should be allowed to appear in pornographic films and prostitute themselves


• Legalized sex with animals (although cruelty to animals would still be a crime)


• Legalized public nakedness


• Free train travel for all (now that's pure crazy-talk)

As much as I enjoy bashing my extremist right-wing countrymen, I'm always appreciative of these little reminders from Europe of what happens when the scale tips too far to the other side. Don't even get me started on Denmark excusing Muslim mercy killings as a "cultural difference."

Meanwhile, natural selection appears to be alive and well in Miami. A 31-year-old man was racing a toy remote-controlled boat, and when it stalled, he proceeded to paddle a raft into the middle of the lake to retrieve it. The funny part? He couldn't swim. So when his raft was punctured by another toy boat (an ironic twist that Hitchcock would be proud of), he quickly drowned. Amazingly, the article refers to him as a "victim".