Friday, September 01, 2006

First blood

Iran struck the first blow in its war against Israel, killing 80 of its own civilians with a low quality, out-of-date commercial airliner. Instead of buying airplanes from U.S.-based Boeing, the kind that actually do not incinerate upon landing, IranAir instead flies the Russian-made Tupolev that has a history of safety problems.

But don't worry, people of Iran, your government is protecting you. Trust me, you'd really hate this Western style of living where the biggest threat to your airline safety is suicidal Arab terrorists. You'll be much happier, as burning jet fuel melts your flesh, knowing that your goverment is standing up to U.S. and Israeli imperialism. Just imagine how much safer you'll be once they drop a nuclear warhead on Tel Aviv. But in the meantime, don't make any religious pilgrimages without an asbestos suit.

Three cheers for Jonathan Edington, a quiet computer geek who repeatedly stabbed the neighbor he suspected of sexually abusing his two-year-old daughter. The creep had been reported to the police already for exposing his genitals outside of their home, and convictions for child molesters are hard to come by, so this was the only way justice was going to be served.

My prediction: they don't find any hard evidence of the child molestation (it's nearly impossible to do, without DNA, since there are never any witnesses, and a two-year-old can't testify.) But they do find lots of suspicious behavior and reasons to believe that the molestation probably occurred. The case never comes to trial, since the prosecution would have to be scared they'd end up with someone like me on the jury. The charges are plea bargained down to involunatry manslaughter, and Jon spends less than a year in jail.

Wherever he goes while he's out on the mall, to the grocery store, back to work...he deserves a standing ovation. There are too many child-molesting creeps in the world, and the world's a better place now that there is one less. Imagine, if we all killed just one child molester, our kids would be a lot safer.


At 1:40 PM, Blogger sparrowlegs said...

I think you're misrepresenting the facts. Iran buys Russian planes because it can't buy American planes:

"U.S. sanctions on the Islamic state have prevented it from buying new aircraft or spares from the West, forcing it to supplement its aging fleet of Boeing and Airbus planes with aircraft from the former Soviet Union."

At 1:16 AM, Blogger Sweet Tea said...

Yeah, the poor victims. Getting picked on by the big, bad U.S.A...just because they sponsor terrorism and are openly pursuing a nuclear weapon with which to destroy Israel.

The sanctions are in place because of their own actions. It wouldn't take much of a gesture by Iran to get them dropped.

Forget the morality of it...the economic and security incentives for Iran to join the 21st century are overwhelming. The government of Iran acts in the sole interest of the goverment of Iran, not in the interest of the Iranian people, who would be better served by a government that isn't trying to start World War III.

At 4:47 PM, Blogger MarkRebuck said...

Yeah, buying from The Good Guys has worked out SO WELL for the Iranians in the past. First, they bought a few F14s from us. These fell out of operation when we decided not to supply spare parts. Then Iran went to Airbus for a few commercial planes. Then we shot down one of the Airbus commericial planes because we thought it was one of their no-longer-flying F14s (USS Vincenes, anyone?).

If Iran shot down a commercial US jetliner (killing 252 Americans in the process), because they thought the commercial plane was an [Iranian-made fighter]... I'm gonna guess we would be disinterested in doing business with them again.

(Ooops, forgot I was an American for a second... I meant "America, Good! Iran, Bad! God Bless America!")


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