Week 1 review

Ah, Sunday. The day that my children cower in fear as daddy screams obscenities at the TV.

New coaches were 5-2 ATS in their first games with new teams. Nick Saban and Mike Nolan won their first games last season also, so perhaps there's a trend here that could be uncovered with a little research. That sounds like work, though.

Let's see how my picks fared:

Pittsburgh 28, Miami 17 My pick: Miami +1 loss
Daunte Culpepper played like Charlie Batch, and Charlie Batch played like Peyton Manning.

St. Louis 18, Denver 10 My pick: Denver -4 loss
Jake Plummer was the best player for the Rams this game, completing nearly as many passes to the blue-and-gold as Marc Bulger. St. Louis played fantastic defense, putting a ton of pressure on Plummer and forcing him into mistakes.

NY Jets 23, Tennessee 16 My pick: Tennessee -2.5 loss
Since the day they locked Steve McNair out of the practice facility, the Titans have bungled their QB situation. Bringing in Kerry Collins off the street and starting him after less than two weeks with the team was not a recipe for success.

New England 19, Buffalo 17 My pick: New England -9.5 loss
The legions of Bill Belichick ass-kissers (LoBBAK) will tell you that the Patriots found a way to win. But in actuality, JP Losman found a way to lose, and the Patriots just happened to be the beneficiary.

Baltimore 27, Tampa Bay 0 My pick: Baltimore +3 win
Is Baltimore this good, or is Tampa this bad? More of the latter than the former, I'm guessing, because the Bucs OL is just terrible. They need to get healthy and get better in a hurry.

Cincinnati 23, Kansas City 10 My pick: Cincinnati +2.5 win
KC's offensive line is a joke. The Bengals got seven sacks, Trent Green was nearly decapitated, and KC's defense had to play well just to keep it this close. Over/under on number of teammates who call Willie Roaf this week: 25.

Seattle 9, Detroit 6 My pick: Seattle -6 loss
Detroit's defensive line played out of their minds. This might be a better team than I gave them credit for. Seattle nearly lost back-to-back games in the Motor City.

Atlanta 20, Carolina 6 My pick: Carolina -5.5 loss
A smallish defense did get pushed around by a physical OL, but it was the other way around than I expected. Carolina sucked on defense, and they sucked on offense. Unless Carolina figures out how to stop the run, they're going to have a tough time winning in their division.

Philadephia 24, Houston 10 My pick: Philadelphia -5 win
Yeah, I was nervous in the first quarter. I've never seen David Carr look so sharp. But once the Eagles got some pressure on him, things started to go their way.

New Orleans 19, Cleveland 14 My pick: New Orleans +3 win
Cleveland's offense is really, really bad. They couldn't run, at home, against a soft defense, and Charlie Frye looked terrible. At least Brady Quinn will only have to drive 5 hours to his new home.

Jacksonville 24, Dallas 17 My pick: Dallas +2 loss
The Cowboys won't lose a lot of games this year, but when they do, this is what they'll look like. Drew Bledsoe makes bad throws when he's under pressure, and the OL was overmatched by Jacksonville's DL. Kudos to the Jags for winning a big game.

Chicago 29, Green Bay 0 My pick: Chicago -3.5 win
Glad you came back, Brett?

Arizona 34, San Francisco 27 My pick: Arizona -8 loss
Trailing by 10 points with 1:08 remaining, Mike Nolan elected to kick a field goal. Way to cover the spread, Mike.

Indianapolis 26, NY Giants 21 My pick: Indy -3.5 win
The Giants outplayed the Colts for most of this game, but managed to give it away with stupid mistakes (and a horrible penalty call by the officials.) I'll take it, but the Eagles should be really scared after watching this tape. The Giants' weakest areas, OL and run defense, were both strengths against the Colts.

So I'm at 6-8 with two games left tonight. That's why I don't bet on sports...a coin flip could kick my ass. With two games left tonight, I have an outside chance to pull even with mediocrity.