Doctor, my throat is ringing

I honestly try to avoid blogging about odd news stories...most of you have probably read the articles by the time I write about them anyway...and the predictable commentary promises to be even more insipid than my normal blog fare.

But forgive me if this one is too good to pass up.

A Missouri man has been accused of shoving a cell phone down his girlfriend's throat. We've all been in situations where we've wanted to shove a cell phone down someone's throat, but this guy actually followed through. Naturally, the defense claims that she willingly swallowed the phone on her own, to prevent her boyfriend from finding out who she was talking to. I could probably imagine a few better ways to accomplish this goal, but then again, I don't live in Missouri.

Now here's the funny part:

She testified yesterday that she couldn't remember how the phone got in her throat, saying she drank too much that night. Court records show that her blood alcohol content was three times the legal limit.

Look, I truly despise violence against women, and I'm all for punishing the ogre who did this...but when you willingly imbibe so much alcohol that you can't recall how that phone got down your throat, my sympathy for you starts to wane. Just a little.