Best of the Worst

It's always the same with presidential candidates. I'm never excited to vote for one of these knuckleheads, instead I'm trying to pick the one that will do the least amount of damage. And because of our horribly screwed up primary process, I'm stuck picking between the winners of the early primaries, since Pennsylvania's vote is long after the meaningful ones are done.

And now Iowa has given us two superstars: one candidate who thinks he's Jesus and another one who thinks that Jesus hates fags. (Way to go, Sherry, you totally stole my thunder the other day by blogging about Huckabee - didn't your kids do anything funny the day before?) But never fear, the candidate who believes that Jesus will be headquartered in Independence, Missouri will be spending like crazy in New Hampshire as he tries to make a comeback.

Incidentally, did you even realize how much of a scam the Iowa caucuses are? That it's not an official primary? That voting is done in person at a set time (7pm, no absentee ballots, if you're working at that time, no vote for you) and in an open room (no secret ballots)? That the whole idea of a 'caucus', which is to get together and discuss the potential candidates - not to choose one, has been destroyed by the truckloads of money that pour into the state every four years? That taxpayers are footing the bill for corn-based ethanol, which is neither cheap nor green, almost solely because this sham 'primary' is the first indicator of presidential preference?

All this undeserved media frenzy and economic windfall for Iowans, and at least you might think they had a decent track record picking candidates. But of course, in 1998, Iowa was the only state that Pat Robertson won. Huckabee and Obama, I hope you enjoy every bit as much success.