Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Movie review: Children of Men

If my connection to the server at work wasn't down, and the guy who fixes network stuff not due in for another two hours, I wouldn't even bother taking the time to write about this movie.

Here, let me spoil it completely for you:

He dies, she lives, she escapes.

True, you figured that stuff out thirty minutes into the movie. But wait, what about all the other questions that the movie raised? Let me spoil those also:

  • What is the Human Project? Unexplained.
  • Why did humans stop reproducing? Unexplained.
  • Why do animals have such an affinity for the main character? Unexplained.
  • Why are there piles of smoldering cow and pig corpses all over the country? Unexplained.
  • Why are they hiding the baby from the government? Why do the revolutionaries want a baby? Why is she having a baby? Why does she strip naked instead of simply telling people "I'm pregnant"? Unexplained.

So there you have it. I've saved you 120 minutes of your life by sharing the big secret with you: the author of this story doesn't have any fucking idea what's going on either. This is possibly a very poorly-developed Jesus allegory (read the Green Mile for a well-developed one) or the author was too lazy to answer his own questions.

There are a few interesting scenes and a scary future world that, while unoriginal, could serve as a backdrop for some fascinating characters and a gripping plot. I kept waiting for a hint of either to show up on the screen, but after about an hour, I realized that the only thing I had to look forward to was the closing credits.

If you're the type of person who enjoys unwrapping a present for two hours, only to find nothing inside, then Children of Men is for you. Otherwise, just stay home and watch Fight Club again.


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