The Perfect Gift

Struggling to find a unique, yet practical gift for the man in your life?

Well, look no further than the bulletproof clothing line from Miguel Caballero! Whether you're attending a black-tie benefit with other drug lords, or just slumming around in a polo shirt on your yacht, this Colombian company has the fashionable kevlar weave for you! Wives and/or mistresses can also choose from a matching vest or leather jacket, in case your enemies target them too!



The clothes come in three different levels of protection, which are clearly displayed on the website with helpful graphics. As you can see from this image, Medium protection will stop the standard police-issue .357, along with a 12-gauge shotgun and MAC-10 machine pistol. If you're worried about Dirty Harry and his .44 magnum, you'll have to fork over the extra cash for High protection.

Of course, the website is so annoying with the blinking, music, and horrible translation (see if you can find the 'word' mimetizes), I couldn't stand it long enough to actually find prices on this gear.

As much as I'm poking fun, I really really want something bulletproof. So if you're buying for me, I think I'd look dashing in the stalker trenchcoat, which includes padded internal pockets for concealed weapons. Thanks in advance.