Monday, February 13, 2006

In the box

Figured I'd start my blog off by telling you how incredibly tough I am. Because I'm only blogging to win your Internet admiration, whoever you are.

I play roller hockey in two amateur leagues. I don't have much skill...being 34, naturally slow, and learning late in life to skate. But it keeps me in shape more than falling asleep on the couch, plus I get to hit people without being thrown in jail!

One of the leagues I play in is supposed to be a casual, laid-back league. We've got three girls on our team, and there's a few other girls sprinkled around the other teams. Some jackass decided to get physical with one of our girls, actually knocking her down in front of the net. Surely there was a mature, level-headed way to react to this situation, but instead I jumped off the bench and clotheslined the guy. I crawled on top of him and was attempting to drive his face into the floor when the refs pulled me off. Four-game suspension.

That should bring my career total to eight suspensions. What's strange is that I keep getting suspended but it's always the other guy's fault.

Thanks to Jim Cramer, I'm either taking advantage of a great buying opportunity in the stock market, or I'm trying to catch a falling knife. As prices drop on oil-service giant Haliburton and Australian miner BHP Billiton, I pick up a few shares here and there. I'm betting these stocks are at $100 and $47 respectively within the year...but if I was any good at this game, I wouldn't need a job writing code for web sites.

Oh, and God bless Dick Cheney. Good thing those crazy liberals weren't successful taking his gun away, or he wouldn't have been able to fill his buddy's face full of .28 gauge birdshot! Way to keep the American Dream alive for all of us, Dick. Hey JC, want to go quail hunting?


At 4:30 PM, Blogger millhousethecat said...

Uncle Meanie has a blog! The world rejoices...sort of. OK, no rejoicing. Mostly just heavy sighing. And not, like, the kind of sigh following really hot sex. Just sort of a sigh of aggravation. Well, not aggravation, exactly. More like --- oh hell...Rejoice! Uncle Meanie has a blog!

At 8:20 AM, Blogger sparrowlegs said...

A whole day and no new posts. This blog is so stale.

At 8:53 AM, Blogger Sweet Tea said...

I have fans! Sweet.

At 8:04 PM, Anonymous ericlindross said...

That girl was asking for it. The way she skated in front of the net like that....


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